The Color of My Sky

According to YA author Chesil, there is a Japanese proverb which states, “The color of the sky is the shape of the heart.” This essentially means that the way we view life-such as when we gaze upon the sky-really depends on how we feel on the inside.

Tonight, the full moon is in the sign Capricorn, an industrious earth sign which is the direct opposite of Gemini, my own capricious and quixotic air sign. In truth, I feared this moon, an encounter with the very opposite of my nature. I have often resisted being grounded, in the past, because I always wanted to leave my life open to the flow of positive change. In my 20s, I worked five days a week, forty hours a week in retail to help support myself and my family, balancing this with online college classes I attended through a grant provided by my employer. I was determined to create positive changes in my life through hard work and education. Battling a severe bout of depression that lasted for several years derailed my plans, but I am happy to say that I am rebuilding my world on the inside and the outside.

Many of the changes that I always wished to see in my life happened by surprise, and many of them I have had to find new reserves of resourcefulness, courage, and commitment to seek and create for myself. After a deeply painful experience this past winter, I am also more aware of the importance of diligently caring for myself. I have long been a practitioner of Yoga, Reiki, and meditation, albeit inconsistently. I now know that consistency is key, and the only way to get meaningful results.

The same goes for my creative pursuits. I am participating in the National Novel Writing Month event Camp NaNoWriMo, and it has been an excellent way to ‘get to know’ my once stalled novel again, and I have been writing consistently and happily.

My life, I can say with gratitude, has a lot of joy in it, provided by blessings like my family, friends, my work, and my hopes for my future. There was a time, months ago, that I was very unsure about the future, and reeling from events I had not foreseen. I was afraid that this full moon would have a difficult energy for me, perhaps even reminding me of these recent events.

Instead, I see that the color of my sky, and the shape of my heart, is far more bright and strong than I counted on. In a way, I had to rebuild my sky, and choose only the most positive and healthy pursuits and people to be apart of my life. This moon, instead of the upheaval and haunting of past events I feared, helped me feel present in the results of the choices I have been making recently. I treasure the bonds I have created, and the healthy habits I have cultivated.

My friends, I hope you are able to look up at the moon and love where you are in your life, right here, right now.

Blessings, peace, love, and light to all.

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